windows........roofs........fences........and more

dad's been gone for 4 months now. i still feel like picking up the phone to call him. or driving to the city for a visit........some day, i know those feelings will fade away. (i hardly ever pick up the phone to call my mom anymore ~ it's been 10 years now)

but, after 3.5 months and LOTS of pushing from mi familia.....i filled out the paperwork and now dad's insurance/401k monies have arrived. i sat on the checks for a while...couldn't bring myself to cash them...but i finally did put them in the bank

the GREAT THING is ....now i have this money --- i'm going to get new windows. PELLA VINYL DOUBLE PANED GLASS....and a new slider for the back yard that HAS A SCREEN so i can open the door and let the fresh air in but still keep out the flying creepy crawlies!!! .....i'm also probably gonna get a new fence and a new roof ...and definitely HOPEFULLY a new sprinkler system in the yard so i can dig everything up and replant/landscape my gardens..................thanks to mike and tammy's dad i'll hopefully be able to get all of these home improvement projects done with the $$$ dad left me.

oh yea, lest you think i'm being TOTALLY SELFLESS and spending it all on things for the house and nothing for moi.............tom took me to the streets of brentwood last weekend where i bought two pairs of shoes!!! (i've been quite neglectful of my little piggies of late - i think the last time i bought new shoes was 4 yrs ago! YIKES!!!! and hopefully i'll get back out there soon & get a couple more new pair! THANK YOU TOMMY FOR FORCING ME TO GO GET MY NEW SHOES! I LOVE THEM!!!)

but here's the thing that gets to me.......

i got 'all this money' (it's a good chunk...but it's not a SUPER HUGE amount) and people are like WOW that's soooooo cool! you are so lucky to get all this money! and i am grateful that i got it, i know i am lucky! and i'm trying to do 'happy' and positive things with it and not squander it away on a whole bunch of nothingness .....but i would give it all back in a heartbeat.....i'd give even more than i got............if i could just have my dad back for a little while longer................the money is not important to me......spending more time with my pops....that's what i really want.