ten questions......

OK, so this is it... I'm gonna try my hand at going out on a limb.
I’m linking to LIVING IN YELLOW that was linked to SHE’s A BIG STAR and I am going to attempt to participate in the INTERVIEW YOURSELF blog post 
So…here goes……
This morning, I opened my friend Erin’s SHE’s A BIG STAR blog and read her interview with herself – and was motivated to give it a try…. I am only a semi-transparently open book.  I don’t volunteer information about myself.  In fact, I rarely ‘talk about myself’ except to the extent that I babble on here in my cyber notebook – mostly too myself since no one else appears to be reading much of what I’m sayin’ :) …but on the other hand, if someone asks me a question about myself or my opinions,  I most probably will be able to give a full answer right down to the smallest minutae!
…and so it begins: 

1. If you could do one thing differently in your life, what would it be?
Uh’oh….right off the bat I am finding it difficult to answer this question.  Not because I don’t want to answer it, but more because my answer is that there is not one thing in my life that I would go back and do differently.  I have always had the view of NO REGRETS….I live in the NOW and never look back to see what ‘might have been’.   I’m sure that had I made different choices at various junctures of my life, I would have had different experiences and I would most probably be in a different place….. But I followed THIS path and here is where I am supposed to be :)

2. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
I have never made a goal or life plan or anything along those lines.  My diabetes counselor made me set-up a few short range goals in February.  I’ve been trying to achieve them – but so far I don’t think I’ve cut the mustard….  For now I will say that in 5 years I hope to be happy and healthy and enjoying life with family and friends. 

3. Do you honestly want kids? 
I guess, if you wanted to go back to #2….the only ‘goal’ I’ve ever had in life is to ‘have kids’. Unfortunately, it seems that mother nature never agreed to that plan….so as of today I still have no kids of my own.   I have been blessed to have friends with kids that I have bonded with over the years.  And I have experienced a lot of the trials tribulations jubilations and achievements of childhood through these kids…. But I have not given up the dream of having kids of my own.  I’ve been looking at the Foster Kids programs and thinking that my niche may be in that type of parenting.  There are so many kids in the system that need ‘parents’.  But to get to the place where I can be a foster parent, I first have to get my housing in order --- right now there’s no room in our little shoebox of a house to even raise a mouse!  Hopefully soon we will remedy that by finding a way to get a larger home and then the doors will be open and let the kids come in!!!

      

4. What has been the best moment of your life so far? 

I have many ‘best moments’ it’s hard to pick just one (or two)….Growing up in San Francisco was definitely a ‘best moment’ there is no place in the world like My City by the Bay.  The culture and ethnic diversity and the history are so amazing.  The everyone knows everyone small-town appeal that you cannot find in most other urban areas.

Living in Hawaii was another ‘best moment’!  It’s paradise. And in Hawaii I finally got to know ‘me’ and learn who I am and what I believe in

Speaking of believing…. Christmas morning is a ‘best moment’ I just love watching the kids eyes open wide with wonder when they realize that Santa really does exist!

Getting to meet Gary Allan with my friend Paula Davis was one of the COOLEST ‘best moments’ only to be topped by riding in the elevator with him & my friend Linda Bell….or the WEEKEND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WEEK I shared with Linda and Sylvia (I could tell you the details – but then I’d have to shoot ya! LoL suffice it to say it involved a Tennessee boy in LA) – oh how I love LOVE love mi vida loca – yes that is definitely a ‘BEST MOMENT’

Ok…so I think I could go on and on with my ‘best moments’….. I will say one more and then move on…  Some of my fondest memories are of being out on the road with my friends following the music and the boys in the band that make the music sound so sweet….having my camera up in front of my face…snapping the shutter so many times that my finger actually got sore and then just knowing at ‘that moment’ that I had just scored one of the best photographs…. 

5. What is your life theme song? 

I was gonna say Kenny Chesney’s BE AS YOU ARE or NO SHOES NO SHIRT NO PROBLEMS…. Those songs are how I view life. No facades, no worries.  Just chillaxin and enjoying the moment.  But truthfully, the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard and really the one that best describes the way I live my life would have to be Gary Allan’s LIFE AIN’T ALWAYS BEAUTIFUL. …Life aint always beautiful ~Tears will fall sometimes ~ Life aint always beautiful ~But it's a beautiful ride ….. no matter how I look at it, in good time or in bad there’s always a silver lining that makes this life I live a very beautiful ride! 

  

6. What is one thing you have yet to accomplish that you want to do before you die? 

I sort of started a ‘bucket list’ …this should in no way be misconstrued as ‘goals’ (we all know how I feel about ‘goals’!!) more of a WISH LIST of things I’d like to do.  The number one thing I want to do before I die is ride in a hot air balloon – but you see the thing is I am TERRIFIED of heights…. 

7. If you could choose one thing to be known for, what would it be? 

I want to be known for being unknown.  I used to say I wanted to be anonymously famous…I like working behind the scenes and getting things done.  I do not need the accolades and congratulatory ‘slap-on-the-back’ that a lot of people yearn for when they do a good deed.  I prefer to do something and then let people wonder how it happened, who was behind it all…. 

8. If you could do anything you wanted right in this very moment

(no consequences, no fear, etc), what would it be? 

I would hop a plane to the islands…. I would bring everyone (family & friends) along and I would share with them the true meaning of Aloha and Ohana. Then I would hop another plane and go join GFA on the road and be that ‘freaky camera girl’ again and take millions of pictures of him and the guys on stage doing what they love to do…
 

9. What has been the most challenging moment in your life? The very hardest moments in my life….I’ve had two.  The night they brought my mom to the ER she had three massive coronaries in a row.  The doctors were able to bring her back each time but they said if she survived she would no longer be ‘her’ anymore.  The lack of oxygen to her brain with each coronary was so great that she would be little more than a shell of her former self.  My dad and I were there in the room with her and I had to tell her to move on.  It was time for her to go.  She didn’t want to say good-bye.  She had too many worries on her mind.  She needed to know that her children were OK. There were so many things she did not get to say to my siblings. To let them all know how proud she was of their accomplishments. I promised her that they would know she loved all of them, each and every one of them. And I told her to leave.

The other time….almost ten years later, my pop had been sick with cancer for the better part of a year.  We knew the time was drawing closer and I made arrangements to take time off work so that I could be with him.  The week before my work-leave was to begin I was at the house and I helped him to his bed and to clean up and change his clothes.  He said he was tired, I tucked him into bed and told him to rest.  I went home that night planning to return in two days and stay until the end came.  The next night I got a call from my brother.  Dad went to sleep.  I was not there and that is one of the hardest things in my life that I have ever had to accept.

  

10. Summarize yourself in one word. 
PRINCESS….But that’s a different story!

…well, I did it.  I answered each and every one of these questions.  The questions were straightforward but the answers may have gotten a little twisted.  What can I say? The mind I work with is just a little twisted too.  OK... Tell me what you think….or better yet, why don’t you take the challenge TOO and answer these questions! click here 

~me ke aloha pumehana 

my special date

It was Friday, April 19, 2013.  The night of the Mother~Son Event at Vintage Parkway Elementary School.  And I had a very special date.....

 

The night before, George and I made our very special two-of-a-kind T-shirts to wear to the Mother-Son Event.  We each painted our hand prints on the shirts and we ironed on a boy and a lady.  Then I had wrote our names and the name and date of the event.  We got lots of compliments from the mothers when we walked in, and when George's principal saw our matching shirts she thought they were 'super cool'!

  

~ * ~ * ~

 

All the boys were on the dance floor 'showing off their moves'.  And generally clowning around.  There were plenty of snacks.....and Crystal Light Pink Lemonade.  Although, Georgie preferred plain water!  And sign-up sheets were on the walls for fun games to be played throughout the evening.

George Taylor & Nicholas ~ los tres caballeros

l

....at the end of the evening, the boys all lined up across the floor and the moms lined up facing their sons.  Each boy presented his mother with a beautiful purple carnation and then he asked her to dance!!! The song was MY WISH by Rascal Flatts.





My wish for you, George Doyle Black, is that you never give up on your dreams. You never lose your sense of adventure. You continue to be the sweetest caring young man that you are today. That your love continues to grow and blossom and the world sees the beauty that is in you....

4-23-2013

What happens when you feel you have not gone far enough and you fear that you know you can not go further?

suddenly changed...

juliette moved to hawaii in the spring of her 21st year.   she was an adult now.  no longer a child who answered to her parents rules.  she had a job in a call center and worked the early morning shift.  this allowed her to have almost the whole day to herself to explore and relax and have fun.

shortly after arriving in the islands juliette met sharona and june and decided to share an apartment with them.  sharona was three years younger than juliette and june was several years older.  by comparison, both girls were a lot more worldly than juliette.  they had been on their own for some time and were far more experienced in life.

soon, juliette discovered that june was what one could consider a 'tramp'.  it seemed that on any given morning a new and different guy was leaving june's bedroom with a smile on his face.  this situation troubled juliette as she was still a virgin and planned to remain so until she married.  but in an effort to fit in, and be one of the girls, she kept her opinions to herself.  then one day juliette and sharona were hanging out on the beach and sharing girl-talk.  juliette confided in her the truth about her non-existent sexual experience.  she was afraid that sharona might laugh at her and call her childish, or worse, a prude. but sharona did nothing of the sort. she was kind and she told juliette how wonderful that was.  she too had planned to remain a virgin until she got married.  but then she met a boy and he promised her the world and she gave in to him, and he promptly left her soon after.

time passed and the girls hung out on the beach and in the clubs.  they partied with the locals and the military stationed in the islands almost every night.  one saturday, juliette was awake early and watching tv when june's current paramour stepped from her bedroom.  he made a quick phone call and then returned to the room.  june came out and informed juliette that tim (the guy) had just called one of his buddies to come pick him up and drive him back to the military base.  when he got there, june wanted juliette to keep him entertained because she and tim were going to go take a nap, she winked.

an hour or so later the doorbell rang and juliette let in a handsome, quiet young man. she told him what june had said and he rolled his eyes.  juliette invited him in and offered him something to drink then she went back to watching tv.  the guy said his name was bryan and he sat down to watch tv with her.  the hours passed and day turned to night.  juliette and bryan talked alot.  she learned that he was recently divorced. that his wife left him when their infant daughter had died from SID.  he seemed very sad and still hurting from this experience.  she told him about growing up in california.  they seemed to get along quite well. eventually he reached out and kissed her.  she braced herself for the inevitable as it seemed that all the boys she had met since moving to the islands had one thing on their mind and she had to be strong to fend them off and protect her virtue.  but bryan was not like that.  he was kind and gentle. and he did not press her to go further than that kiss.  eventually june and tim finished 'napping' and bryan and tim left.

tim came back quite often over the next few weeks.  sometimes he brought bryan with him.  other times he brought groups of other guys and the whole apartment turned into a party zone.  one of the other guys, jim, took a particular interest in sharona and the two of them began dating.

spring became summer and summer rolled into fall and soon it was thanksgiving.  for the first time juliette began to feel lonesome.  she experienced her first bout of homesickness since arriving in hawaii.  she had never been away from her family for such an extended length of time. and she had never ever missed celebrating a holiday surrounded by her parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.  june had flown to the big island the day before to spend the holiday with her father.  sharona sensed her roommate's sudden depression and announced that they were going to have an adventure.

the two girls went down to the local car rental office and picked up a shiny red mustang convertible.  and, with map in hand, headed to the windward side of the island.  sharona's boyfriend had to work all day.  so sharona thought it would be a great idea to go and surprise him.  she mentioned to juliette that maybe bryan would be around and they could all go out after jim went off duty.

jim was very surprised when he got the call that the girls were there.  he took a break to come chat with them.  much to juliette's dismay, bryan was no where to be found.  the girls hung out in the parking lot for the next six hours chatting with anyone that happened to stop by.  soon jim was done with work for the day and he came out to the car with another buddy.  he introduced the guy as wayne and they climbed into the backseat of the convertible.  with sharona behind the wheel the foursome headed back to waikiki.  they pulled into the parking lot of a local liquor store where jim and wayne went in to buy some refreshments and then they headed over to the apartment.

walking in the front door the girls were chatty and the guys were pushing each other about.  jim pulled the bottles out of the bag and apologized that they did not get any juice/mixer to go with the vodka.  sharona said it was ok, she thought there was some pepsi in the fridge.  jim mixed the first round of vodka and pepsi and everyone made a face when they first tasted it.but after the third or fourth drink no one seemed to mind the strange taste any longer.  they played cards and told stories about what the holidays were like when they were kids and everyone speculated as to what was going on in their own homes right at that moment.

it wasn't long before the gallon of vodka was nearly empty. sharona and jim slipped off to the bedroom for a little one on one conversation, leaving juliette alone with wayne.  she tried to make casual conversation but found that, in her drunken state, she had little control over her thoughts.  worse yet, she felt uncomfortable being alone with this guy that she barely knew.  something about him gave her the eebie jeebies.

juliette went out on the lanai.  she hoped that if she left him alone wayne might just pass out.  but he soon followed her outside and brought another drink with him.  he gave it to her and told her to drink it.  she didn't really want another drink, but he teased and cajoled her and soon she found herself emptying the glass. he pulled her back into the apartment and even though her mind was shrieking danger alarms her body was no longer under her control.

wayne pushed her down to the floor and layed on top of her.  she tried to push him away but found she had no strength. she had no voice.  in her mind she was screaming for him to get off of her but no voice was escaping her throat. in her mind she was pushing him away but in reality her arms and legs were as limp as a rag dolls.  he pushed her clothes free and without any ceremony entered her roughly pushing until he had satisfied his urges and then he fell away.  lying on his back he zipped his pants and closed his eyes, satisfied.

juliette was still unsure of what exactly had just happened. she gathered her clothes redressed quickly and escaped onto the lanai.  she did know what had happened.  her life had just sailed down the drain in the flicker of a moment. she no longer had her one and only prized possession. her virginity was washed away. the problem that she could not wrap her mind around was how it happened.

sharona found her out there on the balcony with her arms wrapped around her knees. she took one look at her friend and knew.  sharona was furious. she was ready to take a dull kitchen knife and separate wayne from the parts that made him a man.  but juliette stopped her. she said no. it was her own fault. she brought this all upon herself and has no one to blame for her loss but herself. juliette looked crushed. sharona reached out to her friend to try and console her. but juliette turned away in shame.

living 20th century style in the 21st century

....well sort of.....

just before New Year's Eve rolled around again. we made a trip down to the cable store (one we had planned to make at the BEGINNING of 2012) and turned in all of the cable tv boxes we had in our house..

no longer are we slaves to the eternal boob-tube....our time is now our own and we will watch entertainment that WE CHOOSE when WE CHOOSE to watch it...

yes we no longer have access to cable tv with its millions of channels featuring the same old shows for ever increasing monthly fees.

no we did not go cold turkey and give up all venues of small screen entertainment......now we pay a fraction of the cable bill to Hulu Plus and Netflix to stream what we want into our tvs, computers, liPads and iPhones.

i admit that i was, at first, lost without my nightly line-up of comedies and dramas......i'd walk in the door after the long hellish commute and find that my 'friends' were not queued up on TiVo waiting for me.....but it only took a few day to discover and accept this new found freedom. now i can call up my new friends and ask them to stream something that i WANT to watch not something that cable scheduled for me to watch at its leisure.

i've also found i have more time to spend doing chores - my house might ACTUALLY be clean one day!
i have more time to catch up on various 'hobbies' like reading, photography, genealogy
and i have discovered that PERHAPS i will have time to attack my correspondence pile and write some VERY LONG overdue letters. you remember letters pen to paper alphabet strung together to form words. enclose & seal inside other paper types known as envelopes and then place a sticky equivalent to currency in the upper right corner......a person known as a mail carrier then transports this document to a distant (or not so distant) destination whereupon the receiver opens it and enjoys my witty commentary .....yea. don't hold your breath. BUT don't die of shock should you find one of these articles from me in your possession!!! i'm jest sayin' ;)

today, i was lucky to find i had a whole afternoon to myself and i used it to my advantage as i have been dying to do some research on ancestry.com.....i meandered through files attaching reports and data to various relatives.....but my biggest accomplishment was finally unraveling the puzzle of why one couple had two sets of children that were born WAY LESS than the customary nine month interval necessary for proper gestation. the first pair turned out to true siblings only somehow or another one of them had been logged in as being born a full year prior to his actual birthdate. (thanks to US PASSPORT APPLICATIONS that has now been resolved) .....the second pair of mismatched siblings was a little trickier......in this pairing it turned out they were NOT brother and sister but rather HUSBAND & WIFE!!!! the wife it seems was born to different parents than the ones i am tracing BUT she had the same last name!! ...found her AND her correct parents on an 1880 US Census and untangled this silly little knot :)

......and what did YOU do this fine freezing funday?

first weekend of the year

and it is COOOOOOOLD WET and RAINY

we went to eat at SHIRASONI ... every bit as good as benihaha!!!
very tasty and we all have leftovers for tomorrow :)

.....came home to find a fb discussion about dating.......one person is thinking about jumping back in the pond......but is thinking to go for 'seniors'........idk i am glad that i am NOT in the market....BUT i think i am ALSO not ready to face the 'senior' stigma!!!!! i do not want to be getting offers from AARP.....i am not ready to start taking Geritol! i am just getting started on this ride called 'life'


what about you? if you were going to jump into the dating scene (or maybe you are single and mixin it) what would you do? are you looking for an older man/woman? or are you looking for the younger crowd?

....now i am reminiscing......so many good times.....out til dawn....kickin it with MOVIN or down on the wharf ....or in the valley (noe)........i don't know how my liver survived....but i do really miss those dancing shoes!!!

nite nite

here's the pitch

......tonight's movie was PITCH PERFECT. some of my all-time favorite chick flicks involve guys & girls and love & angst and singing and MUSIC.......and a sappy love story with a great...not just a good....but a REALLY GREAT soundtrack is THE BEST!!!

which brings me to tonights topic. singing.....can you do it? are you a shower singer? do you participate full-on in music making choirs and cover bands and karaoke fetes?

me? oh i am a DEFINITE soloist in the automobile........put me in a car all by myself and crank on the music and i am oh so happy to be singing away for hours on end......ok i admit i will sing snippets when others are in the car too.....but i think it's more torturous on them than anything else.

i remember in fourth grade mrs macdonald told me and elly that we had the best voices in the class --- ultimately, at least for me, i do not think that that was a complement....it just meant that i was really really loud. this theory was reinforced by my brothers whenever we went on a family road trip and they spent half the time moaning in pain and the other half begging my mom to put duck tape on my mouth to keep me quiet.....

fast forward to a week ago. we went to val's after the vigil service......and it was karaoke night (actually i am beginning to think that EVERY NIGHT is karaoke night in there - since they always seem to be having karaoke every night we have stopped by) .......but it's all good -- 'stine has a wonderful voice and enjoys getting up in front of everyone......ricky has gotten up there a couple times now and we have ALMOST convinced tommy that livin' on a prayer NEEDS his voice ;) ....but this time in, my mom's friend carol was there with a few of her karaoke singing buddies. they were all really good and i enjoyed listening to them......the problem arose when aubrey (one of carol's friends) decided that i needed to get up in front of everyone and belt one out....and i said NO WAY!!! he said yes way..i said NO...he said yes....NO ..yes....NO ...yes he said he could hear the music in my voice ....that i needed to let it out..... i said NO WAY.....he said if i went up there and sang a song he would drop his drawers to draw everyone's eyes off me......and just then my fellow eagles saved the day (night) saying it was time to go......WHEW!!!!

aubrey said NEXT TIME.....i said no way.....he said YOU WILL LOVE IT......i said maybe

now comes the true test of fate......do i dare darken val's doors ever again? or do i keep my off-key percussions inside my car all cozy?

02 January 2013

i am just a LITTLE BIT late......technically it is already 03 Jan, but it's still 'the night of 02 Jan' so i will pretend.....

watched a movie on NETFLIX -- yes this is my new nighttime entertainment since we said BUH-BY to nasty ol' Comcast!!. grrrrr. but i digress --- movie was called PLAY THE GAME and it may have been one of the last (if not the very last) movies starring Andy Griffith. Was a cute sappy girlie chick flick.....right up my alley! then i was gonna get up and go to bed but it was so darned cold that i pulled a blanket up over me and crashed.......UNTIL pk came home and suggested i should GO TO BED very loudly thus interrupting my freezing slumber!

but this was not what i was planing to write on 02 Jan 2013......

i was planning to write about situations in life in which persons are clueless (or maybe it is just plain self-centered rudeness?!) i'd like to say that this one in particular situation has really gotten me all tangled up in a knot of frustration - but it really hasn't. instead it's almost comical because it's so predictable.... well maybe i will discuss this further tomorrow - if i don't freeze in this arctic wasteland.

i mean SERIOUSLY!!!! if i wanted to live in the frozen tundra i would move to alaska....or iowa.....sunny california is misleading......sunny implies warm.....and it is NO WAY warm here in the boondocks during the winter!

....well i am gonna take my frozen li'l tootsies to my icecube bed and wander off to dream about fudgecicles and igloos and frosty the snow man.... (maybe i would not be so cynical if we actually got snow - then the temps would be worthwhile --- altho' who's gonna shovel my snow for me? maybe i better be careful what i wish for!!)
nite nite

goodbye 2012....hello 2013

i am going to start out this new year on the right foot......picking up my keyboard and attempt to speak out in the hopes that you will hear me.....

.....for now i just want to say HAPPY NEW YEAR....

and take a moment to reflect on all the things that happened in the past 365 days

...we all aged another year
...the SF Giants won their second WORLD SERIES (as SAN FRANCISCO Giants)
...the SF 49ers ended the regular season as NFC WEST Division Champions
...Cintia & I took a tamale class and found out the 'it' that we were missing from our own tamale experiences
...i ran out of time and never got Christmas Cards in the mail (those that sent them to me, I truly enjoyed hearing from you!!) nor Christmas Cookies in the oven --- well there's always NEXT year!
...got together with my EAGLES classmates on several occasions
...said 'until we meet again' to one of our EAGLES
...went to YOSEMITE with the 'family'
...discovered i did not have the photo card for my camera and ended up taking all my pics with my iPhone
....traded in the DROIDS for iPHONES and never been happier with a communication decision
...said BYE BYE to COMCAST (yes still adjusting to this choice)
...FINALLY went to the doctors --- got poked & prodded and learned a lot of things that I am going to have to work on (more on this soon!)
...sadly did not get to very many concerts......did enjoy GOLF & GUITARS in Sacramento with Kristie and JASON MICHAEL CARROLL in San Jose with Lisa and The FARM in San Jose with Linda.........hoping for KEITH URBAN and GARY ALLAN in 2013
...made contact with cousins near and far learning more and more about my ever expanding family tree
....spent a week at the National Archives in San Bruno scanning documents detailing the lives of my ancestors dating back to the Gold Rush era

all-in-all it was a fairly good year ... 2012
I have high expectations for what 2013 will bring......