turning

i felt the winter chill last night
i saw the harvest moon
the grass is getting browner
the flowers are losing their bloom

summer's gold is fading
autumn's browns are getting bolder
warm breezes mutate to cold wind
blowing blustery and strong

seasons changing in endless cycles
life's progression on this road

PATIENCE is a virtue...

....and i want it RIGHT NOW!!!

the worst time of the holiday season for me is when all the gifts are wrapped & under the tree......................i IMPATIENTLY wait for that magic moment when all the chaos ensues. it's not so much WHAT DID I GET, i really don't need to GET anything....it's what i am giving either by name or anonymously......and the happiness and joy on the faces of the receiver(s)

but before you go thinking i'm this super altruistic individual that only cares about giving..............................
let me just BURST THAT BUBBLE for you.

i LOVE love LOVE love surprises! from the simplest little daisey picked in the park to the most extravagantly wrapped gift box with wonders untold hidden within.....................BUT because these are SURPRISES....unexpected & unplanned......there is no time to WAIT and be patient to find out what treasures they behold! INSTANT GRATIFICATION!!!!!!!

which brings me back to my gripe of the day.............when i KNOW there's something HUGE about to happen something monumental.....a life altering change in the universe.................when i know it's coming i have a VERY DIFFICULT TIME being PATIENT and waiting for it to occur in it's due course

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.....half past the point of no return.....
LASSO THE MOON & THE STARS & PULL THAT ROPE TIGHT

SOLID #3!!!!!

for the past six years gary & kenny have had to share equal billing in my #1 country singer spotlight.......I LOVE THEM --- their music - their personalities - the things they stand for - the glimpses of their personal lives --- OFTEN TIMES POLAR OPPOSITES & yet BOTH touching me....they are the YIN & the YANG of my country soul!

the #2 position has seen alot more fluctuating.....from JAKE OWEN to LUKE BRYAN to JASON MICHAEL CARROLL....JASON ALDEAN...SUGARLAND....LADY ANTEBELLUM and the list can go on and on............

but ALWAYS in my #3 spot....forever solid and comfortable is the BIG DOG DADDY ..... TOBY KEITH!!!!

i love his music!

i love the way he believes in & supports our great nation & the troops that protect it

i love that he is not afraid of being un-pc and saying exactly what is on his mind

i have gone to see his shows for the past six years and for six long years i have tried to win a MEET & GREET with him..........i had all but given up hope.......

until this morning when i received an email from the fanclub saying I WON! I WON! I WON!!!!!

on 06 August 2010 i will get to meet Mr. Toby Keith at the Shoreline Amphitheater before he takes the stage to WOW us with yet another amazing show!!!!!

idle chatter

i really have nothing important to say right now....and i have even less unimportant to say.....i just feel like inanely chattering about nothing (maybe i would've made a good character on SEINFELD?!)

what about YOU?

what's new with you? where are you today? how are you feeling? what are you doing?

i am WAITING WITH BAITED BREATH to hear from YOU!!!!

hi jen......you are my most dedicated commenter!!!!

JEN thanks for your comments!!! i truly enjoy reading them.....i wish there was a better form of communication back & forth between the writer & the reader in these blogs.......i truly look forward to your (and anyone else that feels inclined to chime in) comments!!!! they help me realize i'm not just floating around out here alone....someone IS listening/reading!!!! :)

but i do feel there is absolutely nothing wrong with ogling a certain HOT MAN on your man's special day....come share 'soap worthy' thoughts with me!!! we'll have a BLAST for sure! :)

and i really think that at this moment in time i am RIGHT WHERE I NEED TO BE ...if only i knew where that was! lol

thank you for the two thumbs up on the RESPECT CHAIN! :) i was fuming at that moment!

and DEFINITELY you are IN on the vaicarious living!!!!

Devil's Mountain; 2010--06-14

IMAG0027, originally uploaded by izzyrox.

behind the camera i disappear into a world through the viewfinder a place where i can see things not visible to the naked eye.

behind the camera i melt into the background of everyday life, the focus is elsewhere. i go unseen.

behind the camera i can relax, i can be me.

no more negativities

i cleaned the dust & crumbs from my keyboard tray this morning....
i cleaned the cobwebs from my cloudy mind

i am stepping up to the plate....
i am right where i need to be

i see the sun shining.....
i see distant light at the end of a this long tunnel

subversive self destructor

why....when things seem to be going good do i do everything in my power to sabotage them and make them go wrong?

i woke up yesterday actually feeling 'good' the day was a clean slate & held promise of great accomplishments....by the end of the night i felt like i was sinking in a mucky puddle of grey sludge & i have yet to find my way back out to the surface.

looking back and trying to be analytical (which is a super-human feat for my chaotic mind) i can see that i went to sleep with happy thoughts which brought me back to consciousness in a happy state of mind.....this only started to slip away as i set forth herculean goals to accomplish by the end of the day.

i quickly sank into a chaotic whirlpool of unorganized mixed up jumble and at the end of the day i feel as if i had accomplished nothing at all

they say hind-site is 20/20 so in retrospect i will try to put all the pieces of yesterday together and see if i can find something worthwhile to show that the day was not a complete loss:

752a woke up late for church
815a arrived late to Mass
930a ate WAY TOO MUCH for breakfast (thank you steroids for mucking with me)
1045a stopped at starbucks cuz my way too much breakfast was just NOT ENOUGH
1100a  into the office to try and do some of the work i did not get done in the past two weeks of being sick
300p should really think about leaving, but know that they aren't expecting me until 6 so figure to stick it out a little longer & hope to get at least one thing accomplished
445p running out of time. i really need to leave NOW but i am STILL trying to just get one single task completed.....got a lot of things started but not one thing is finished ...tomorrow will be a horrid day if i don't get something (anything) done NOW
506p LATE i'm never gonna make it home to get the steaks, wake up rob and get over there to cook dinner by 6p
602p pull into the driveway...run in and get steaks, change shirt & PU i stink (a little lady's speedstick did the trick)
610p VERY LATE....luckily no one is here. go directly to clean the grill.....start marinating their steaks...and WOOHOO!!! VERY EXCITED found some chicken sausage that i will enjoy for dinner cuz i am STARVING
630p making potato pancakes......
645p meat is ready to be grilled..........NO MORE PROPANE!!!!! change of plans. steaks on the electric griddle (ewww!) and no sausage :( no dinner :(
745p steaks are finally cooked everyone eat! ....no not me...i had a change of plans & no dinner tonight. but that's ok. i ate plenty at breakfast time!!!!! wine....enjoying it!
900p sitting by myself at the kitchen counter. where did everyone go....guess that means i should go home.
1000p laundry FINALLY in the washer.
1005p surprise texts from old friends across the miles
1145p still texting now im'g with good friends closer to home
130a clothes still in the washer - should put them in the dry but if i did that then that would be ONE THING that i accomplished today....and why should i start NOW?!

life is good

family is eternal

friends are important.

bffs are integeral

this morning i find myself awaking tired from staying up too late but on the brighter side of the slippery slopes....a place i have not been in far far far too long

i slept soundly, albeit vicariously, and had sweet dreams.

vicarously

the idea was posed to me that we could all live vicarously through each other. if you, for instance were to be one who takes part in sleep as a nightly ritual, whereas i am one who sleep often alludes. then i could vicariously sleep through you.

another case in point being, that you living in some distant part of the world may long to grow a tropical garden but lack the wherewithall to get it done in your real world. you could vicariously tend to a tropical garden in my yard. we would both reap benefits from such a marevelous undertaking because i would vicariously have the tropical garden i have longed for and you would be tending the same vicarious garden thus fulfilling your desires

of course then we had to address the issues of real-world bills and mortgages and well vicariously let's just say i am now slumbering away dreamming of chocolate, coffee and (my favorite) dirt tea in vivid technicolor....i know that vicariously i will awake refreshed in the morning :)

respect me.....don't yank my chain

respect you?!
how the H E double HOCKEY STICKS am i supposed to do that?! you promised me things and then you took them away. you changed the ground rules & forgot to let me know. you have given me an unfair advantage and expect me to just completely concede to your whims without even giving me a heads up that the rules have changed.

i am not saying that your decisions are wrong or bad in anyway. quite frankly, in fact, i truly 100% agree with you. but if i am SUPPPOSED to be your close friend i would think that you would at least let me know rather than just leave me guessing in the dark

i do respect you as a person. and i do want to respect your wishes NOW THAT I KNOW what they are.

i wonder if i merit that same respect from you?

it just bites

i survived the cellulitis. in fact i THOUGHT i did pretty good because i did not delay going in to the ER and getting treatment until it was too late......i THOUGHT i was being a responsible adult......i THOUGHT i was taking care of business

but NOOOOOOOO! it's never just as simple as all that. i do not have a cloud with a silver lining in my life.

NOW i get to deal with an allergic reaction to the same D@MN drugs that were supposedly healing me & curing the infection in my skin tissue

my body is now covered nearly 85% from head to toe in a rash....hives.....red itchy welts.........................i don't remember chicken pox being THIS uncomfortable.....it's like tiny needles pricking at my skin and then the ITCH washes over me and begs me to take my nails and rake them across my body

i made rob hide my backscratcher (yes every good chinese girl keeps a backscratcher by her bedside!) so that i couldn't use that to bring relief to my tingling skin

ARAGGGGGGHHHHHH

it was back to the ER early thursday morning ....they diagnosed me....gave me a nice BIG shot of Benedryl in my okole as well as prescrptions for more Benedryl, prednisone and pepcid..............................i took them ALL DAY LONG yesterday with no relief

so BACK to the ER at midnight.............three hours later, same diagnosis. different drugs........at least THIS TIME they gave me some topical creme (cortisone) that i can put directly on the itches for instant (if only brief) relief!!!!

SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH.....oh how i want to SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH

hug deficient

i suffer from a rare disorder of hug deficiency.........

i feel emotionally drained & depeleted if i do not receive at least ONE good honest hold-you-tight hug each day and lately i have not had that honor. actually more than just lately.....it's been way too long!

and i am suffering from it

PLEASE, SOMEBODY HUG ME~~~~ANYBODY?!?

some things i don't understand

why we have good days and bad days
why isn't ice cream a daily requirement
why a person can be upset with another person and take it out on me
why i get sleepy & yet i can not slumber
why my mom & dad had to go so soon
why do i feel discombubulated
why is being alone different from being lonely
why when i try my hardest do i feel that it's still not good enough

i am

here in this spot. trying to focus on working...but my brain does not want to focus on what is in front of me.
instead, it sees all that is & wants to run away.....

polar opposites.......i am flighty & impulsive and at the same time (self-diagnosed) OCD, do not derail me from my usual patterns of daily life for i will become confused!!!!

quirky beyond belief

street smart with a decent smattering of common sense. but the 'bookstuff' was never really my cup o'tea

incredibly adaptable & easy to get along with...go with the flow kinda gal with the biggest stubborn streak this side of the rockies

still wishing it were time to call it a day & go home to play!!!!

Cellulitis

Cellulitis

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Cellulitis is a diffuse inflammation of connective tissue with severe inflammation of dermal and subcutaneous layers of the skin. Cellulitis can be caused by normal skin flora or by exogenous bacteria, and often occurs where the skin has previously been broken: cracks in the skin, cuts, blisters, burns, insect bites, surgical wounds, or sites of intravenous catheter insertion. Skin on the face or lower legs is most commonly affected by this infection, though cellulitis can occur on any part of the body. The mainstay of therapy remains treatment with appropriate antibiotics.

Erysipelas is the term used for a more superficial infection of the dermis and upper subcutaneous layer that presents clinically with a well defined edge. Erysipelas and cellulitis often coexist, so it is often difficult to make a distinction between the two.

Cellulitis is unrelated (except etymologically) to cellulite, a cosmetic condition featuring dimpling of the skin.
 
Signs and symptoms

The typical symptoms of cellulitis is an area which is red, hot, and tender. Usually the itch and/or rash appears a little after it vanishes leaving only a small mark which is commonly ignored.

Causes
Cellulitis is caused by a type of bacteria entering the skin, usually by way of a cut, abrasion, or break in the skin. This break does not need to be visible. Group A Streptococcus and Staphylococcus are the most common of these bacteria, which are part of the normal flora of the skin but cause no actual infection while on the skin's outer surface. Predisposing conditions for cellulitis include insect bites, blistering, animal bite, tattoos, pruritic skin rash, recent surgery, athlete's foot, dry skin, eczema, injecting drugs (especially subcutaneous or intramuscular injection or where an attempted IV injection "misses" or blows the vein), pregnancy, diabetes and obesity, which can affect circulation, as well as burns and boils, though there is debate as to whether minor foot lesions contribute.

There is a very rare dermatological condition called Hidradenitis Suppurativa (HS). HS is a non-contagious skin disease that includes numerous and chronic manifestations of symptoms, including abscesses, several types of cysts (epidermoid, sebaceous, pilonidal), just to name a few. These infections of the skin usually occurs in clusters, leading to multilocalized infections that are extremely sensitive and often cause debilitating pain. Persistent and reoccurring lesions can cause scarring and may cause the formation of sinus tracts depending on the extent of the wounds. These lesions can also cause the formation of tunnels connecting the abscesses or infections underneath the skin. Most patients with HS require multiple surgeries in order to be able to live somewhat comfortably. Wound dehiscence is a premature bursting open of the wounds along surgical sutures, which only further complicates the resistant healing process. Wound dehiscence can be considered a surgical complication, although it occurs very frequently in patients with Hidradenitis Suppurativa who have undergone surgery specifically for their skin wounds. Occurrences of bacterial infections and cellulitis (deep tissue inflammation) often occur at these sites. Hidradenitis Suppurativa pain and depression can be extremely difficult to manage. HS has been linked with other auto-immune conditions,androgen dysfunction, plugged or dysfunctional apocrine (sweat) glands and/or hair follicles(creates inflammation, pain, and swollen lesions; and there may be an autoimmune component implied)), bacterial infections (which are infections that are secondary infections and therefore not contagious), Crohn's Disease, Rheumatoid Arthiritis, Squamous Cell Carcinoma, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, obesity, anemia, amyloidosis, arthropathy. Stage III Hidradenitis Suppurative complications are extremely painful and can lead to death in some cases.

The appearance of the skin will assist a doctor in determining a diagnosis. A doctor may also suggest blood tests, a wound culture or other tests to help rule out a blood clot deep in the veins of the legs. Cellulitis in the lower leg is characterized by signs and symptoms that may be similar to those of a clot occurring deep in the veins, such as warmth, pain and swelling (inflammation).

This reddened skin or rash may signal a deeper, more serious infection of the inner layers of skin. Once below the skin, the bacteria can spread rapidly, entering the lymph nodes and the bloodstream and spreading throughout the body.This can result in flu like symptoms with a high temperature and sweating or feeling very cold with shaking as the sufferer cannot get warm.

In rare cases, the infection can spread to the deep layer of tissue called the fascial lining. Necrotizing fasciitis, also called by the media "flesh-eating bacteria," is an example of a deep-layer infection. It represents an extreme medical emergency.

Risk factors
The elderly and those with immunodeficiency (a weakened immune system) are especially vulnerable to contracting cellulitis. Diabetics are more susceptible to cellulitis than the general population because of impairment of the immune system; they are especially prone to cellulitis in the feet because the disease causes impairment of blood circulation in the legs leading to diabetic foot/foot ulcers. Poor control of blood glucose levels allows bacteria to grow more rapidly in the affected tissue and facilitates rapid progression if the infection enters the bloodstream. Neural degeneration in diabetes means these ulcers may not be painful and thus often become infected.

Immunosuppressive drugs, and other illnesses or infections that weaken the immune system are also factors that make infection more likely. Chickenpox and shingles often result in blisters that break open, providing a gap in the skin through which bacteria can enter. Lymphedema, which causes swelling on the arms and/or legs, can also put an individual at risk.

Diseases that affect blood circulation in the legs and feet, such as chronic venous insufficiency and varicose veins, are also risk factors for cellulitis.

Cellulitis is also extremely prevalent among dense populations sharing hygiene facilities and common living quarters, such as military installations, college dormitories, nursing homes and homeless shelters.

Diagnosis
Cellulitis is most often a clinical diagnosis, and local cultures do not always identify the causative organism. Blood cultures usually are positive only if the patient develops generalized sepsis. Conditions that may resemble cellulitis include deep vein thrombosis, which can be diagnosed with a compression leg ultrasound, and stasis dermatitis, which is inflammation of the skin from poor blood flow. Associated musculoskeletal findings are sometimes reported. When it occurs with acne conglobata, hidradenitis suppurativa, and pilonidal cysts, the syndrome is referred to as the follicular occlusion triad or tetrad.

There have been many cases where Lyme disease has been misdiagnosed as staph- or strep-induced cellulitis. Because the characteristic bullseye rash does not always appear in patients infected with Lyme disease, the similar set of symptoms may be misdiagnosed as cellulitis. Standard treatments for cellulitis are not sufficient for curing Lyme disease. The only way to rule out Lyme disease is with a blood test, which is recommended during warm months in areas where the disease is endemic.


Treatment
Treatment consists of resting the affected area, cutting away dead tissue, and antibiotics (either oral or intravenous). Flucloxacillin monotherapy (to cover staphylococcal infection) is often sufficient in mild cellulitis, but in more moderate cases or where streptococcal infection is suspected then usually combined with oral phenoxymethylpenicillin or intravenous benzylpenicillin, or ampicillin/amoxicillin (e.g. co-amoxiclav in the UK). Pain relief is also often prescribed, but excessive pain should always be considered relevant, as it is a symptom of necrotising fasciitis, which requires emergency surgical attention.

As in other maladies characterized by wounds or tissue destruction, hyperbaric oxygen treatment can be a valuable adjunctive therapy, but is not widely available.

frustration

it really sux to worry about someone & not know where they are or if they are dead or alive when all the while in the back of your head you know exactly what they are doing.

sometimes i wish i did not have the 'sixth sense' about people that i am close to.....it only ends up hurting me in the end.

i am hurt & upset right now & there's nothing that can be done about it because i have no rights to say what is on my mind.

day 4...in a row!

i TRULY believe that george has moved in.......and maybe luke too!!!!

george has slept at anne's house the last four nights.....luke was a little late joining in on all the 'fun' but he's on night #2 now.............

they spent the night here last night...we got up early and did some gardening...then we went home to 'beat-up' daddy........................and OF COURSE torment the baby kitties!

later this afternoon we met scott & keri, josh and baby maggie at the asian market on hillcrest...this was to be a fieldtrip to begin soothing my asian soul!!! the store to step up and replace my longing for 99 Ranch and Pacific Super..........saving me a 1.25 hr drive to daly city just to buy lop cheung & oyster sauce!!!!!!

but NOTHING ever goes as smooth as planned.....we met in the parking lot & went to enter the store...and there posted in BIG BOLD BLACK PRINT.......
LOST OUR LEASE

EVERYTHING ON SALE 20-30% OFF!!!

wahhhhhhh!!!!!

well we DID have a nice time shopping the 1/2 way empty aisles...and i found lots of stuff that i have needed for a while!!!

came home & chilled and then had a delish din-din of chinese greens, baby bok choy, gyoza & crab sui mai........yum yum

just about to sit down to eat when naked lukey comes out with jammies....and says get dressed, time go home now.....i said ok lukey but i'm gonna eat dinner first....and he says NO EAT DINNER! go home now!!!

well i DID eat my dinner....but i left all the dishes for amy to clean up ;)

never fear ....georgie did not miss a beat he said...wet's go home now anne!! time go bed!!! and away we went!!!!

anne's house!

...and so we were running very far behind. our weekly wednesday night biblestudy/potluck dinner is supposed to start at 7p. ....but this wednesday scott drove his new car (that unwanted necessity) over and tom (being a guy) had to check out all the bits & pieces under the hood.... me just being curious followed them outside after about 10 minutes.....it's a BEAUTIFUL rootbeer colored 4dr nissan and the under the hood part is so sparkly clean - i 'member when my camry was that clean!!! lol

so we were about to head back inside when this guy selling meat stops by and tommy asks me if i want to get some.....so we listen to the guys spiel..and he shows us all his cuts of meat......and at first we say no. but then he keeps sweetening the deal....and we finally end up with a case of beef and a box of porkchops.....now my freezer is FULL

and thus group didn't get started until after 8p!!!! yikes....but we managed to get through it and had a delicious dessert. scott made fudge that didn't set up quite right so we had fudge sauce over vanilla ice cream instead!!! yumm-o

we were cleaning up and getting ready to call it a night when all of the sudden georgie announces I GO ANNE'S HOUSE, WANT GO HOME!!! and he runs and gets blankie, blankie (yes that's 2 blankies..no typo!) and dog-dog....he even got his jammies! and put them all in a bag...and he was ready to go.....he said night mama...nite nite daddy and away we went!!!  (for the record...luke said no go juanne's stay buzz/woody (the kitties))

we slept on the couch and watched nick jr all night long........

well, all night until he fell asleep anyway :)

No MIXES......please!!!

QUALITY tequila
frozen limeade
triple sec
lots of ice

BLEND BLEND BLEND BLEND BLEND


oh what a night!!!! so bad......so much fun!!!

humpday...better frame of mind? idk....

but i'm trying.......THANKS JEN, your note was just the kick in the pants i needed!

ok, i am willing to conceed that God does indeed have a plan for me.......i'm just TIRED OF WAITING.....what if He is too busy elsewhere & forgets about me until it's too late? i'm already older than dirt....how will i carry out his plans if i am a geriatric when He remembers what He wanted me to do?!

as to the rest of my conundrums.....it is what it is

went downstairs to the cafe to get 1/2 price sushi - but alas, i went too early and had to pay full price..........then to add insult to injury, the sushi i picked...the one i always pick because it's got tempura shrimp and avocado and unagi.......sushi-man put surami (fake crab) in it!!!!! yuck!!!


and now for the real reason i stopped by....

my li'l lukey did the most coolest thing ---- we were getting ready to take olivia back to her mom, and rushing around the house looking for things - georgie had clothes on one minute...the next he was naked!!! and i do not know why. so i told luke to get george some clothes - and he came out with a complete outfit, so i told him get george dressed......and ......HE DID!!!! it was sooo cool!!! i'm so proud of him & all the accomplishments he has made! :)

JULY again naturally

i just spent 36 hours in vegasbaby......saw kenny & the guys...hung out for a while with my gal-pals!!! met some blokes from wimbeldon - they came to the states cuz their hometown is currently being overrun by americans attending the tournament (go figure!?!) .....lots of alcohol....very little sleep!

i returned in time to go to my first ever BLOCK PARTY.....on forbes court....it was a GREAT DAY the party could've gone on all night long. we drank way too much margaritas & shots of tequila...but at least my drinking buddy made sure i had some yummy food to eat! & kept me very well entertained most of the day/evening

on the 4th of July went to a CHURCH ON THE GREENS celebration picnic & bbq...followed by an afternoon of swimming and fireworks at night

and now it's tuesday...back to work & reality sets in.......................................two things i am quite sure of....i do not live in a fairytale world & my prince charming has abandoned me for the newer better prettier model.....and even though we were told on sunday that God has a plan for everyone, i believe that perhaps they got the message wrong OR God has forgotten to have a plan for me......