blech!

sometimes the best way to get things out of my head is to put them into words on paper (or in the 21st century i suppose the 'new paper' is a computer screen) so pardon my regurgitations but i need to clear my head.....

and i am extremely frustrated that people don't seem to believe me when i am in the midst of an allergic crisis.....

my allergist told me i am highly, extremely allergic to cats and under no circumstances should i be where they are....................well, i do frequent a place where there are two 5month old kittens......they have been there since they were one month old....at first they did not seemed to cause me any allergic distress...but as they have gotten older, i have noticed symptoms getting stronger.....

monday night i was in this place for much longer than i had planned to be and by the time i got home i was sneezing & watery eyed and i woke up in the night wheezy.  i know i have no one to blame for this situation but myself and i am doing everything 'medically correct' to overcome these symptoms and i will need to be more careful in the future (yes, the future - i can not forsee me NEVER GOING to this place again...it's impossible)

so that is frustration # 1.....i KNOW i can not stop going to this place, i know that i run the risk of having another acute episode

but the even HARDER PART is there are people that don't seem to understand how sick i am right now or that it will happen again.....it's like they think i am saying it on purpose that it's not real.....that i am making it up because i don't like cats...

i'm sorry that the worst of the attack happened when i was all alone and there was no one there to witness it and vouch for my sincerity.....but it DID happen, and i am still recovering from it.

the most hurtful accusation came from someone that should believe me and support me no matter what, and yet he said it's been over 24hrs that you have been out of contact with the cats and you are STILL having symptoms, unbelieveable!

that is my frustration #2 --- i feel as if people think i am lying and making this up and that hurts

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ok, i've purged these thoughts from my brain.....NOW can i get back to good thoughts?